La Wlooo!!!…Awkward Moments

On days like today when my mental energy is down to minus zero, I have to try my very best to form one complete thought on my own – so I have to thank my friends for an afternoon and an evening of pointless back and forth bantering about those awkward moments that make life so sweet. I’d like to share some with you. Thank you C.M., A.K., F.H. and R.M. for your contributions (to those who I chose to discredit, it was intentional – that ought to teach you to be lame next time.)

That awkward moment when you say “bye” to someone and they end up walking in the same direction.

That awkward moment when you attempt to kiss someone on the cheek but your heads keep going in the same direction . . . three times in a row.

That awkward moment when you’re standing there, pushing a “pull” door with a frustrated facial expression.

That awkward moment when you’re so deep into a phone conversation that you don’t realize the other person hung up 5 minutes ago.

That awkward moment when you’re singing alone in your car and make eye contact with a complete stranger.

That awkward moment when you’re in a restaurant and get a call from a friend. You don’t pick up. You realize they’re sitting right across from you, watching you.

That awkward moment when you upload a new profile picture on Facebook and someone “likes” your old one.

That awkward moment when you “like” someone’s Facebook status and realize it was posted 37 seconds ago. (Stalker much?)

That awkward moment when you’ve already said “What?” three times and you still don’t understand what the person is saying.

That awkward moment when you’re checking out your reflection in a car window and realize there’s someone sitting inside.

That awkward moment when you’re spacing out and realize you’ve been staring at someone’s crotch.

That awkward moment when you say “Hello” to someone on MSN and a minute later, they sign out.

That awkward moment when you wave back at someone then realize they’re looking at the person behind you.

That awkward moment when you realize you’re walking in the wrong direction so you hit your pockets pretending to have forgotten something.

That awkward moment when your girlfriend starts dancing to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”.

That awkward moment when your best male friend (or boyfriend) starts dancing to “It’s Raining Men”.

That awkward moment when your dentist asks you a question with his hands still in your mouth.

That awkward moment when you make eye contact with someone while eating a banana.

That awkward moment when the teacher asks you to read out loud, except you have no clue what page they’re on.

That awkward moment when the GPS tells a gay motorist to go straight.

That awkward moment when you pretend to be talking on your cell phone and it rings for the entire world to hear.

That awkward moment when you’re pretending be alert during a meeting and your boss asks you a question as you’re holding back a yawn (you know, that Down Syndrome facial expression).

That awkward moment when you’re eating spaghetti or salad on your first date and contemplate what to do with those extra bits that insist on hanging out of your mouth.

That awkward moment when someone tells you have a smudge in your eye and before you know it, they’re cleaning it for you (Eww).

That awkward moment when you realize you’re chewing on a borrowed pen.

That awkward moment when nature calls at your friend’s house and the toilet refuses to flush down the mess you’ve made.

That awkward moment when you urinate all over the floor in an airplane toilet.

That awkward moment when you’re restraining gas and your stomach ends up making the loudest most obnoxious noises.

That awkward moment when it takes you five hours to park your car properly.

That awkward moment when you’re at a store and ask for help from someone who doesn’t work there.

That awkward moment when Charlie Sheen does enough cocaine to kill two and a half men (pun intended).

That awkward moment when you’re talking to someone and his vision keeps gravitating towards that huge zit on your face (in the absence of a zit, vision will gravitate towards your chest – same awkwardness applies). He doesn’t know that you know. But you know.

That awkward moment when you finally tell the person you’re talking to that they have something in their nose. The awkwardness only becomes worse as they attempt to clean it up while making a bigger mess. Even further awkwardness as you indicate where that booger actually is (somwhere on their face at this point).

That awkward moment when you insist on paying the bill . . . and your credit card is declined.

That awkward moment when you want to introduce two people, but you forget both of their names.

That awkward moment when you pick your wedgie and realize that the cute guy sitting across from you is staring.

That awkward moment when you make a “Yo Mama” joke at someone and realize deep down that it’s probably true.

That awkward moment when one of your family members sends you a friend request on Facebook.

That awkward moment when you realize your zipper’s been open for the past half an hour.

That awkward moment when you’re naked and trying to get dressed and your pet is staring at you.

That awkward moment when you finish your popcorn before the movie even begins.

It’s these awkward moments that make life so much fun. I’ve learnt to gracefully embrace them by turning red for a good few minutes, dying a little, and then laughing it off later. Do share yours.

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” Brian Tracy

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